Le Jeu Adulte
by me-ladie
Summary: When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they’re also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated For Language.
1. Chapter One: It's Alive!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash.

**Author Notes:** Well… I'm back… Kind of. It's been a very long time and the amount of fanfiction in the South Park category has increased exponentially since I last wandered in during early 2005 I do believe…

Anyways, for those of you who don't remember me, I'm Me_Ladie. I've been involved in fanfiction since mid 2002 and have floated in and out of many fandoms, categories and genres including Harry Potter, South Park, Phantom of the Opera, Invader Zim, American Psycho, Hannibal Lecter series, and Sleepy Hollow just to name a few. I currently have 3 South Park fanfics hosted on and a whole lot more on my website.

I swing in and out of slash and read most pairings but I do have my little favourites.

I'm also Australian. :D

I hope you enjoy my (hopefully) fabulous un-BETA'd fanfiction. If anyone here is a BETA I'm looking for one. I'm also looking for someone to help with my French, I used to be pretty fluent, I'm a little rusty now though however.

I'll stop rambling now, enjoy.

Me_Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter One – It's Alive**

"_It's alive!" A voice whispered in horror, soon after a scream followed._

_Kyle Broflovski sighed as the world around his slowly turned to ashes. Yet again, someone had given into Cartman. And yet again, the small mountain town of Colorado would have to pay for it._

"_Run!"_

"_It's coming this way!"_

_Kyle slowly began to walk away from the self inflicted chaos as the terrible squid like creature slowly let out a huge fart. Hundreds of people passed out, Kyle remained oblivious. He just didn't care anymore._

"_Well, well, well," A familiar voice purred. "Kyle."_

"_Go away fat ass," Kyle said. "I'm not in the mood."_

"_Well, Kyle," Cartman continued, ignoring the boy. "Who was right? Who said that they could train a squid to fart instead of ink people? Ha! Who was right?"_

"_I really don't care Cartman."_

"_Me!" Cartman laughed, his jowls wobbling ferociously. "Kyle, you owe me one hundred dollars!"_

"_Fine," Kyle sighed. "There's an ATM up ahead, give me a sec." _

_Kyle quickly strode forward, ignoring the fat that danced behind him. The ATM was filthy, covered in who knows what. Kyle quickly shoved his card into the machine; keyed in his pin and withdrew the money._

"_Here," Kyle said, shoving the bills at Cartman. "Take it."_

"_So Kyle," Cartman smirked. "My money and I will be seeing you tomorrow!"_

"_Whatever."_

_Kyle slowly turned away and continued his walk home, the sound of terrified screams trailed behind him._

***~-~***

Kyle opened a bleary eye; his clock glared the numbers 6:45. Oh God, Kyle thought to himself, I won't be able to get back to sleep. He hauled himself out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He examined himself in the mirror, his green eyes shone through a matt of tangled red curls.

God, what an… interesting dream, he thought to himself.

He turned on the shower, checking the warmth of the water before he stepped in. His body slowly buzzed as the water poured over him, cleansing him. The water of the shower washed away the bad memories of the previous day and welcomed new ones. He lovingly shampooed his hair, treasuring each one of his delicate curls. No longer did his hair spring into an afro, it hung loosely around his face framing it slightly.

He turned off the shower and towelled himself down, carefully drying his hair. He quickly went back to his room, got dressed and headed down stairs. Already Kyle could tell it was going to be one of those days.

***~-~***

"Well, well, well, Kyle."

"Hello Cartman," Kyle muttered, rolling his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Stan and Wendy have broken up again," Cartman began smiling innocently.

"As they do every other week," Kyle said. "Why are you telling me?"

"Just notifying you that Stan's ass is back on the market," Catrman laughed. "You might finally get your chance to have a go at it."

"Shut up fat ass," Kyle said. "At least people don't have to clear the hallway every time they hear my voice for fear of getting squished against a locker."

"They do not," Cartman laughed. "See, no one is moving."

"That's because their scared of your farting squid," Kyle muttered.

"What!?" Cartman exclaimed. "What are you on Kyle?"

"Nothing."

"Kyle," Cartman cooed. "Has some more sand gotten stuck in your jew-gina?"

Kyle saw red.

"Heya Kyle," A voice called. "Cartman."

Kyle clenched and unclenched his fist.

"How're you doing guys?"

In a flash Kyle raised his fist and smashed it into Cartman's face with all his strength. Crack! Cartman wobbled backwards, blood streaming down his valley like chin.

"Mr. Broflovski," a voice shouted. "I'll see you in my office. Mr. Cartman, go down to sick bay and call your mother."

"Oh ho!" Cartman spluttered through the blood. "Now you're in trouble."

***~-~***

"Mr. Broflovski," Principal Sommers began as Kyle walked into the room. "Take a seat."

"Principal Sommers," Kyle said, sitting down. "I'm really sorry about punching Cartman, but he's such an ass."

"Language Mr. Broflovski."

"He's been on my back since we were four," Kyle continued rambling. "I just want it to stop."

"You think violence is the answer?" Principal Sommers continued.

"Well," Kyle began. "You sent him home today…"

"Mr. Broflovski," Principal Sommers sighed. "You and Mr. Cartman have been in and out of this office since you both first arrived here. We've tried detentions, friendship counselling, separating you, and forcing you to talk to one another. Nothing seems to work with you two.

"I've talked to your former principal and she noted the same behavioural problems between the two of you. I don't want to expel either of you, and your parents have already been notified enough. So I've decided to go through both your student records and find a suitable punishment for the both of you."

"Have you found one?"

"What?"

"A punishment suitable for the both of us."

"I'll need to call both your parents, but I think I might have."

***~-~***

"Kyle Broflovski," Sheila shrieked as her son walked in the door.

"Hi mum," Kyle muttered, closing the door behind him. "Before you go off at me, I'd-"

"I thought you'd grown up," Sheila continued. "I thought you had bettered yourself and weren't talking to that boy anymore."

She glowered at her son, her blue eyes shooting daggers at him. Even though Kyle was a full head taller than his mother, her glare still made him shrivel. Some people had a way with words; Kyle's mother had a way with glares.

"I'm not talking to him," Kyle spat. "Stan and Kenny are, I have no control over who they associate with."

"Well then maybe you should find some new friends who'll treat you better," Sheila persevered. "What about Leopold Stotch, he's a nice boy, or Token Williams. Both of them are such lovely boys. I'll invite them round for a play date."

"Mum," Kyle began. "I'm fifteen years old; I don't have play dates anymore. Hell Ike doesn't even have play dates anymore. I can look after myself. Stop mothering me."

"Stop mothering you?" Sheila said, her voice shaking. "I wouldn't have to mother if you had ever made at least one decent decision in your entire life."

"That's because you never let me make any decisions."

"Nonsense, you're nearly a young adult-"

"Nearly?" Kyle scoffed. "Most of my friends are already treated like adults."

"Give me one example."

"Kenny."

"Kenny," Sheila licked her lips. "Is white trash. His parents cannot afford to look after him so of course they treat him like an adult. He has to provide for himself."

"Why can't I provide for myself?" Kyle continued. "Even Cartman has a job."

"You need to study," Sheila said. "Wait till the summer, and then you can save."

"I can do both."

"No you can't," Sheila began to ramble. "Your grades will slip; you'll lose interest in school. Then you won't get into an Ivy League College and will have to work in a dead end job full time."

"Not getting into an Ivy League College isn't the end of the world."

"And how are you going to get to and from your job?" Sheila began to pace. "Your bike is too small for you and it's far to far to ride anyway. Your father doesn't get home till late so you wouldn't be able to depend on him."

"I could always walk…"

"And who's going to look after Ike?" Sheila finished. "Yes, I don't think you're ready for a job."

"Fine," Kyle mumbled. "I hate you.

"Oh Kyle," Sheila sighed, wincing at her sons harsh words. "I worry about you-"

"You don't need to," Kyle spat, turning and walking away. "I can handle things myself."

***~-~***

"This is your fault Jew boy," Cartman spat as he pulled his pants over his joggers. "They've pulled me out of computer class so I can run around with faggots. They're probably all sizing me up now, fighting over who gets to tap my sweet ass first."

"As if Cartman," Kyle laughed. "Haven't you noticed the wide birth everyone is giving us? Your fat ass needs its own change room; I can hardly squeeze in beside you."

"Very funny Jew boy," Cartman said. "I bet you're just wishing that one of these guys would pound you."

"Where are the other guys?" Kyle asked.

"They're already dressed and warming up," A voice answered his question. "As you two should be. You need to be changed and ready by the time the bell starts."

Kyle turned around and saw a tall lean man. He was well toned with brown hair and eyes to match. His nose looked as though someone had squashed it flat, probably the result of too many balls to the face.

"I have a class before this one," Kyle began. "And there's only a five minute break between periods."

"Make it work," The PE coach snapped. "Otherwise you'll be held back late."

"Yes sir," Kyle mumbled.

"Yes sir," Cartman mimicked, sniggering.

"You two are here as a punishment," The man began, pacing. "However, Physical education can be fun as you two will learn. If you haven't already looked at your new time tables we have class five days a week, you no longer have Thursday afternoons off. During that period we have health and fitness. If we finish early we usually play a team sport such as football.

"Under no circumstances will you miss this period; otherwise I will punish you physically. You boys will experience the toughest workouts you will ever know unless you adhere to the rules. Any questions."

"Yes sir," Kyle said, slowly raising his hand. "What is your name?"

"You will refer to me as Coach or Coach Nichols," Coach Nichols sneered. "I expect you boys out there in five minutes."

The boys watched as he stalked out of the room. Steam seemed to be pouring from his ears.

"Weak," Cartman spat. "Come on Jew boy, time to meet your dream boys."

"Fuck off Cartman."

***~-~***

"Today we have two very special boys joining our class for the first time," Mr. Nichols the PE teacher began. "These two boys have been fighting for years and the principal thinks that enough is enough. Now neither of these boys are fans of PE, in fact I talked to their Junior High school teacher, apparently both nearly failed and both decided against picking it up when they began here last year- I'm digressing.

"The principal has decided that these two young gentlemen will be joining us for the rest of the year. Your job as my students is to help me push them to their limits. Who will join me?"

Great, Kyle thought to himself as his new classmates cheered. Of course the year twelves are happy, they get to bully year tens into running for a stupidly long amount of time.

"Now boys," Mr. Nichols grinned as he turned to face his new pupils. "Lets start with something simple. How about you two run seven laps around the community ovals as a warm up; the rest of you keep behind them. If they slow down you have my permission to do anything to get them up to speed."

Kyle shuddered as Mr Nichols revealed his yellow teeth. It was going to be a very long day.

***~-~***

Kyle sat down and groaned. His body was aching in areas he'd never dreamt of feeling pain. Cartman had collapsed on the floor of the gym, he was panting heavily. The roles of his fat wobbled as he breathed in and out.

"This… is… not… fair…" Cartman panted. "Why… am… I… even… here?"

"Because you're a fucktard," Kyle replied as he put his shoes back on.

"This… is… your… fault… Jewboy…" Cartman slowly raised his middle finger. "Fuck… you…"

Suddenly the doors swung open and the year twelve boys piled into the locker room. They ignored the two younger boys who had collapsed on the floor and headed straight to the showers.

"You boys okay in there?" Mr Nichols shouted. "You better be showering with the rest."

"We already showered," Cartman lied. "Now we need to rest."

"You boys just shake it off," Mr Nichols continued. "You'll be used to it in a few days."

"In a few days we'll be dead," Kyle muttered.

"I hate you Kyle," Cartman said, rolling over onto his stomach. "I'll get you for this."

Kyle stuffed his gym clothes into his bag and gave Cartman the finger.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

***~-~***

"I give up," Cartman panted, day three of intensive PE had begun with a few laps around the oval. "I cannot continue on Kyle, just leave me to die here."

"Come on fat ass," Kyle panted beside him. "It's not that bad. As soon as we get our fitness levels up we'll be able to run just as well as everyone else."

"Lies," Cartman puffed, collapsing on the grass. "All lies, that's what he wants you to think. But I know the truth; he's trying to kill us."

"Come on Cartman," Kyle groaned. "If you don't hurry up the year 12's will catch up. They'll steal our clothes again."

The previous session had ended with Cartman and Kyle discovering that their clothes had been removed and hidden in the girl's locker room. An adventure had ensured and had ended with detention. Kyle had another three months added to his lifetime of being grounded.

"I've bought a spare set," Cartman smirked. "No girl will ever see me naked again unless I permit her to look upon me."

"Fine fat ass," Kyle grumbled. "I'll finish without you."

Kyle slowly sped up; regaining the speed he had lost slowing down beside Cartman. His thigh muscles ached, yet he pushed through the pain. Kyle knew if he showed Coach Nichols that he actually cared about PE, maybe the coach would treat Kyle a little nicer. Or gain the respect of the year 12's. He could hear them pass Cartman, their jeers echoed cruelly around the oval. Kyle closed his eyes and pushed himself round the corner.

"That's it Broflovski," Coach Nichols voice boomed through the megaphone. "One more lap to go. Cartman, hurry up otherwise I'll make you run another five laps."

"Arrgh," Cartman screamed, getting off the ground. "Screw you."

"As for the rest of you," Coach Nichols continued. "Run another lap, see if you can make Broflovski sweat."

"Oh shit," Kyle muttered, desperatly trying not to slow down. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."

Kyle opened his eyes, everything was blurry. He was a third of the way round, another two thirds and he could stop. He could hear the year 12's jeering behind him, desperately competing with one another. Kyle could feel a stitch coming on, a sharp searing pain on the right side of his stomach. He briefly swore but pushed himself further.

Two thirds of the way there, he thought to himself as he neared Cartman. All I have to do is lap him, then I'll be at the finish and I can stop. I can breathe.

"Screw… you… hippie…" Kyle could hear Cartman swearing in front of him.

"Nearly there Broflovski," Coach Nichols belted. "Mitchell, see if you can catch him."

Kyle flicked his head over his shoulder to see a large, muscular, blonde boy chasing him. He quickly whipped his head around and pushed himself to run faster. His body was screaming at him to stop. As he whipped past Cartman he could feel the air rushing past his head, he was going so fast he could swear he was flying.

"Well done Broflovski," Coach Nicols boomed. "No sit down and have a rest while we wait for your friend."

"He's not my friend Coach," He panted.

""Yes, yes," Coach Nichols smiled. "Come on Cartman, another lap and your done. The rest of you, make sure he doesn't walk the rest of the race."

***~-~***

"I bet you're so proud that you beat me," Cartman panted, towelling himself off. "How much are you paying the year 12's not to catch you?"

"You're just jealous cause I made it," Kyle smirked. "That I actually beat the year 12's."

"You didn't beat them," Cartman spat. "They'd already lapped us once before your big Chariots of Fire moment faggot."

"At least I didn't have a break halfway through," Kyle glowered.

"I didn't have a break," Cartman said. "It was a pit stop."

"You had a rest."

"I did not."

"Did to you fat ass."

"Ta gueule," Someone shouted behind them. "It is impossible to 'ear myself zink"

"Let the faggots have their tiff," Another person replied. "It's the first time they've ever been separated."

"Yeah," Someone else piped in. "Wasn't this class supposed to be a punishment for them."

Soon all the year 12's began to join in, criticizing the two boys.

"I hate you Kyle," Cartman spat, walking out the door."

"Same here fat boy."

***~-~***

Liked it? Hated it? Please review! Flames or no, feedback is good.

I've been out of fan fiction for a while, so please talk to me!

Also, if you're a BETA, please contact me.

ALSO (final one I promise), I'm looking for fanfiction for my website. I'd like to make it multi authored. Any fandom, any pairing. Seriously. The link is on my authors page somewhere…

Please Review!

Me_Ladie


	2. Chapter Two: Down! Down, You Fool!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Chapter two, I was a little surprised to actually make it this far considering my lack of fanfiction writing ness.

This Chappie is a lil' short of my usual 3000 words. :D Sorry! But there was really nothing else to add. The next chapter is being written though. I've already started it. Maybe I'll make the difference up to you.

To the people who reviewed, thank you so much. For those of you who took the time to read the fic but still didn't review thanks also, However I'd love to hear from you. To those who clicked, read the authors notes and got bored, sorry… Finally, to those who looked at the summary and went 'boring', thanks for looking at the summary.

I'm not going to blackmail you into reviewing "I'm not going to post another chapter until 10 people review", that pisses me off. You write for yourself, not for others. But I would like to hear opinions, good or bad.

I hope you enjoy the next instalment of the fic.

Me_Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter Two – Down! Down, You Fool! **

"Hey dude."

"Hey Stan," Kyle murmured, jotting down a few notes.

"Not even a proper acknowledgement?" Stan joked.

"Sorry, but I have to finish this," Kyle said, looking up at his friend. "It's due tomorrow."

"What's happened," Stan asked, sitting beside his friend. "I hardly ever see you anymore."

"That's not true," Kyle frowned, biting his lip. "We see each other everyday."

"I wouldn't call that seeing each other," Stan laughed. "You tend to study during Recess and Lunch. And you didn't show up on Thursday-"

"I wasn't able to," Kyle sighed. "PE."

"Seriously?" Stan said. "That would explain why Cartman didn't rock up either."

"The coach is a real hard ass," Kyle complained, shutting his book. "He pushes us and encourages the year 12's to pick on us."

"Sounds like a douche," Stan laughed.

"It's not funny," Kyle smirked. "He's got us running twenty laps everyday and that's just our warm up."

"I could do that easily."

"Yeah," Kyle smiled. "But you run for fun. Have you considered trying out for track?"

"Have you asked your mum about getting a job?"

"Yes, she said no," Kyle's smile faded. "But don't change the subject."

"I'm not," Stan muttered. "I just don't think I'll make it."

"You will," Kyle poked his friend. "If you want I'll try out with you so you'll look good against me."

"I'll try out _only_ if you organise a job interview with Sal," Stan teased. "No try outs unless you at least attempt to get a job. The library's a great place to work."

"I know," Kyle said. "I go there all the time."

"Exactly," Stan smirked. "And Sal is literally clawing for a chance to hire you."

"I don't think it's a good idea," Kyle said. "We shouldn't work together, we'd get nothing done."

"We wouldn't work in the same area," Stand smiled. "I contact books and put them on the shelves, you'd be working with gold or something."

"She doesn't like me that much…"

"She wants you."

"Ew."

"She'd give her virginity to you."

"Gross! She's like seventy!"

"And still as spry as a fourteen year old."

"Gross man."

"You know it's true."

"Just stop," Kyle laughed, his face was slowly beginning to match his hair. "I'll organise an interview on one condition, you try for track and your parents give me a lift from work."

"Hey," Stan chuckled. "That was two conditions."

"Two conditions then."

"Both are acceptable," Stan stuck out his hand. "Deal?"

"Deal?" Kyle agreed. "Now lets go play Guitar Hero."

"What about French?" Stan questioned his friend.

"_Français de baise_," Kyle smirked. "Lets go."

***~-~***

"Well boys," Coach Nicols grinned, baring his cigarette stained teeth. "You've been with us one week, how do you feel?"

"Tired," Kyle grinned. "And a little healthier."

"Good, that's what you should be feeling," The coach said, his chest puffed out proudly. "Give it a few more weeks and you'll be able to jump mountains. Now since our guests have successfully completed their first week with few complaints we're going to have some fun."

"Fun?" Cartman asked. "What kind of fun?"

"PE kind of fun," Coach Nichols glared. "We're going to do some team building games. We're going to play dodge ball."

"Crap," Cartman grumbled.

"Now I don't want to hear another complaint or profanity out of your mouth."

"Yes sir," Cartman mumbled.

"Now, everyone line up shortest to tallest, and I'll divide you into teams."

Kyle mentally groaned, he was definitely the shortest in the class. Standing only 5"6' he was miniscule compared to the boys in his class. Even Cartman was a good 5"8', even if his girth matched his height. Kyle sighed and stood right at the end of the line, Cartman stood next to him. The boy next to them was 5"11' and it went up from there. Twenty four tall muscular young men stood beside the two boys. Kyle sighed, it was going to be one of those lessons.

***~-~***

The whistle blew and the game was on. It had been many years since Kyle had even thought about playing dodge ball, he didn't have any good memories of the sport. He remembered Pip nearly killing half the team at one point, but nothing else.

Kyle nearly screamed as a ball flew towards him, he quickly ducked, the ball missed him. Kyle ducked, dodged, and dived. He grabbed a ball and pelted it.

"Aim Broflovski," one of his team members shouted. "Don't be such a pussy."

Kyle gave him the finger and dodged another ball. He laughed as his team mates tried the same thing only to get hit in the head. Perhaps it was a good thing to be short. He caught a ball and pegged it, catching Cartman in the shin.

"I got you Cartman," Kyle yelled.

"Nuh-uh," Cartman shouted. "That didn't even touch me."

"Get off the court you sack of crap," Kyle replied, dodging another ball. "You cheater."

"Oh Kyle," Cartman sighed, pegging a ball at the boy. "You're breaking my heart."

"Just get off the court you fat fuck."

"Don't call me fat you fucking rat Jew."

The whistle blew.

"Cartman get off the court," Coach Nichols shouted. "And don't use that language in my class."

Kyle went red, he didn't need saving by some old man who smoked too much. He caught the next boy thrown at him and pelted it full force right back at the boy, catching him in the stomach.

"Good work Broflovski," One of the boys on his team smiled. "Keep that up and we're gonna win."

This isn't so bad, Kyle thought, smiling back at the guy before dodging another boy. I don't know why I was so worried.

Kyle caught another ball, pelted it at another student. Kyle dodged a ball, ducked between team mates and dived to catch another ball. When the whistle blew he was panting heavily and producing enough sweat to fill a lake. He didn't care, he was far too happy to care. His fellow team mates congratulated him, patting him on the back, making Kyle feel like he was one of them.

"Good work today boys," The coach grinned. "Tomorrow we go back to serious work. Sports day is in a few months and we've got to have everyone prepared. And Broflovski."

Kyle turned to face his coach.

"Good work out there today."

Kyle had never felt happier.

***~-~***

God this sucks, Kyle thought as he gazed out the window. It was such a lovely day and once again he was stuck inside listening to Madame Bauble ramble on.

"_Écoutez-vous Monsieur Broflovski?_" His teacher questioned.

"_Oui_, _Madame_," Kyle replied.

"_Quel jour sommes-nous?_" Madame Bauble pressed, trying to catch her student off guard.

"_C'est mercredi,_" Kyle smiled at his teacher. "_C'est le huit Octobre._"

"_Bien_," Madame Bauble smiled before walking away.

Kyle forced a smile at his teacher, he positively hated French. His mother wanted him to learn another language. Kyle didn't know why, he was almost fluent in Hebrew; he could read and write in it as well as speak a few words. What more did his mother want? For Kyle to be fluent in several different languages of course. He stayed away from Chinese and Japanese, he didn't need to learn anymore alphabets. It was a toss up between French and German; he chose French cause it was nicer to listen to.

And Cartman took German.

Bastard, Kyle thought to himself as he began to daydream.

***~-~***

Kyle loved to sit outside; he could actually breathe in the open air. He couldn't really appreciate it during PE lessons as he was usually panting, gasping, fainting, or all of the above. But now he was alone, he could eat his lunch and do his study in peace. Usually he just went to the cafeteria and pretended to study while actually goofing off. Today he felt different. He felt a little claustrophobic, for some reason his body was telling him to go outside. As he completed his French homework he watched the rest of the student body begin to pour out onto the oval.

Stan's probably looking at me, Kyle thought, closing his book and lying down on the grass. I wonder if anyone can see me.

Kyle smiled to himself. He quite liked being alone, it gave him a sense of nothingness. He didn't mind feeling insignificant; after all he spent most of his life hopping from one big adventure to the next. He liked having a quiet life, where his biggest battles were those with his mother.

No more negative thoughts now, Kyle contemplated as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

"_Down!" Kyle shouted, shoving his henchman aside. "Down, you fool!"_

_His creation had begun to move, he laughed manically. They had called him crazy, they had called him mad. Soon his revenge would begin._

"_The switch!" Kyle shouted, flinging his henchman aside so he himself could deliver that final shock of life. "Live."_

"_Broflovski," his henchman grumbled._

"_What?" Kyle snapped._

"Broflovski," A harsh voice snapped Kyle out of his slumber.

"Wha?" Kyle replied his head dizzy.

"We're one man down," It was the French boy from his PE class. "Did you want to play Soccer wiz us?"

"You want me to play with you?" Kyle questioned.

"Yes, yes, of course we want you," the boy grumbled. "I wouldn't be asking if we didn't need you, no?

"I guess not," Kyle looked down at his shoes. "Are you sure? I'll probably loose the game for you."

"Yes," The boy snapped. "Now follow me."

Kyle fumbled for his French book before chucking it in his bag. He followed the larger boy down to the oval. It seemed that his entire PE class was there.

"He actually agreed to play?" One of the boys scoffed.

"Yes," the French boy shrugged.

"Good work DeLorne," Another boy smiled. "Now let's play."

"You call each other by your last names all the time?" Kyle asked DeLorne.

"Yes."

"Isn't that a bit weird?"

"It keeps the rivalry going."

"Oh."

"Broflovski, DeLorne," A voice shouted. "Get to your sides."

"What team am I on?" Kyle quickly asked.

"You're on Lyons team," was the reply he's got.

"Whose Lyons?" Kyle questioned embarrassed.

"I am," A gruff voice said. "Now move it."

***~-~***

French:

_Écoutez-vous Monsieur Broflovski?_ - Are you listening Mr. Broflovski?

_Quel jour sommes-nous?_ – What day is it?

_C'est mercredi,_ _c'est le huit Octobre_ – It's Wednesday, it's the 8th of October.

Thank you so much for reading, please review! Even a single word is good. :D

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Me_Ladie


	3. Chapter Three: The Neck's Broken

**Chapter 3 – The Neck's Broken**

As Stan Marsh sat down to eat his lunch he felt off. Something wasn't right. He put down his food clenched and unclenched his fists before picking his sandwich off and taking another bite.

"Does something feel off to you guys?" He asked his friends.

"Nope," Kenny smiled, winking at Stan. "Nothing at all."

Stan looked around, he could see Cartman waiting in line for lunch, but Kyle wasn't there.

"Kenny," Stan began. "Have you seen Kyle?"

"Nah man," Kenny said, shaking his head. "Haven't seen him since yesterday. You know we have no classes together."-

"Yeah…" Stan trailed off. "But he always eats with us."

"Maybe he actually wants to study," Kenny commented.

"Kyle needs to study?" Stan smirked.

"Good point."

"Maybe he's finally ditched us so he can become but buddies with a year 12 boy," Cartman sneered, sitting down with the boys. "I saw him hanging around some of our class mates from PE."

"But the year 12's play sport during lunch," Stan frowned. "Kyle hates sports."

"He seems very into it during class," Cartman smirked. "Especially when the other boys eye him up. I bet Kyle's just waiting till the right moment to drop his towel in the showers."

"You shower with the year 12's?"

"I don't," Cartman snapped. "There's no way I'm going to get raped by some year 12 faggot."

"That explains the smell," Kenny joked.

"I hate you Kenny," Cartman muttered.

Stan bit his lip, clenched his hands into fists then stood up.

"Come on guys," Stan said grabbing his lunch.

"Where are we going?" Kenny asked.

"If Kyle is playing any kind of sport he needs a cheer squad."

"I'm not wearing a dress," Kenny grumbled collecting his things.

"You don't have to," Stan groaned. "Just hurry up."

"You guys go on without me," Cartman shovelled food into his mouth. "I'll join you when I can be bothered to."

Stan and Kenny walked out of the cafeteria and made their way down the hall to the school ovals. Sure enough there was a young red headed boy playing soccer with the year 12's.

"Woah," Kenny said as they sat down to watch.

"Kyle actually looks like he's enjoying himself," Stan said, mouth hanging open.

"He's not half bad," Kenny said as he stole one of Stan's sandwiches.

"He's not bad at all…"

"So…" Kenny trailed off. "When do you think Cartman will join us?"

"Probably never."

***~-~***

Kyle hated soccer.

"Why did I agree to do this again?" He mumbled to himself.

"Because you're an idiot," A year 12 shouted at him. "And we're awesome."

"Yeah!" Another year 12 shouted before kicking the ball at Kyle.

Kyle squeaked, before he kicked the ball back at his team mate. He watched as the year 12 began to dribble the ball through the other players. Kyle followed him, running towards the goal. He watched as the year 12 managed to kick the ball and fool the goalie into missing. Everyone who was watching cheered.

Kyle smiled; it was rather exhilarating for him. He wasn't used to the adrenaline pumping through his body. Before he knew it the ball was being dribbled around the field. He raced towards it, he knew nothing of strategy, all he knew was to kick the ball into the goal. And if a year 12 could do it, so could Kyle.

DeLorne had the ball and no one seemed to be able to touch him. Kyle began to jog forward, why wasn't anyone attempting to take the ball from him? As Kyle began to close in on the ball somebody grabbed his arms and stopped him.

"Don't bother Broflovski," Lyons growled. "He's French, he's played soccer all his life, and no one can beat him."

Kyle shrugged the other boy off before heading towards the ball. DeLorne looked extremely happy that someone was actually challenging him for it. Kyle tried to keep up as the French boy taunted him, pretending to lose control of the ball then easily regaining it when Kyle went near him.

"Just give me the god damn ball," Kyle spat, he could feel his anger rising.

DeLorne looked at him and smirked, there was no way he was going to let a short grade 10 boy get the better of him. With great ease he dribbled the ball through Kyle's legs and scored a goal. He then turned to Kyle.

"You should have listened to your team mates," DeLorne smirked; he stood so close Kyle could distinctly smell cigarettes. "Nobody beats me."

"Toffee!" Kyle heard a shriek. "You were so amazing!"

Suddenly a mass of pink tackled DeLorne before kissing him soundly. It was Annette Parkinson, one of the most popular, gorgeous and blonde girls in year 10. Kyle had tutored her in maths since they were first introduced through the student mentor program in year 8. He'd continued through year 9 because he had a crush on her and she asked. She hadn't asked him to this year, now he could see why.

"Kyle!" She squealed, hugging him against her breasts. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"How's your maths going?" Kyle asked politely.

"I dropped it," Ashley shrugged. "Anyways Toffee, you and me are going to spend this afternoon at the ice-cream parlour and then we can go back to my place. My parents won't be home till late."

"_Mon Cheri_," DeLorne purred, a predatory grin on his face. "It will be my pleasure."

As the couple began to kiss, Kyle turned and walked away. Public displays of affection made him feel ill. It wasn't the fact that they were making out which was horrible; he just didn't want to watch it. Sometimes he felt that he was wading in sperm.

"Kyle!"

Kyle looked up and there was Stan and Kenny, waving furiously at him. He ran over, grinning.

"Hey," Kyle said, sitting down beside his friends. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Cartman told us that you were playing soccer," Kenny smirked. "We had to see you fail."

"Dramatically," Stan added.

"Fail dramatically?" Kyle questioned.

"When Kyle Broflovski fails," Stan began, trying not to laugh. "He always fails dramatically."

"I don't understand."

"'Es saying zat you are over ze top," DeLorne said, causing Kyle to jump. "You don't want to forget zis."

The French boy was holding up his bag.

"Thanks," Kyle mumbled, grabbing his bag.

"No problem," DeLorne smirked. "I'll see you in class."

"Wow," Stan said. "He's kind of…"

"Scary?" Kyle smiled.

"Yeah…"

"I'm sure he's a big pussy once you get to know him."

"Nah," Kenny smirked. "He just like's Miss Parkinsons."

***~-~***

"Bored, bored, bored," Ike sang softly to himself. "Bored, bored, bored."

"Okay Ike, I get it," Kyle snapped at his little brother. "I get it, you're bored. Now please be quiet, I'm trying to watch Terrance and Phillip."

"Hmmmn," Ike thought to himself, biting his bottom lip. "No, I don't think I will."

"Come on Ike," Kyle pleaded. "It's a brand new never before seen episode."

Ike looked at the television, contemplating the two Canadians.

"It looks to me like clips from previous shows mixed together," Ike said proudly.

"It's a best of special," Kyle began, running his hands through his red curls. "There's always something new at the very end. Please let me watch it."

"I want to watch TV before Dad gets home and takes control of the television," Ike wined. "All he ever wants to watch is current affair or the news."

"Well I'm the oldest therefore I get priority, I came first."

"I'm the youngest, you've watched more television than me," Ike began, snatching the remote. "Therefore I need to catch up."

"At least I'm not adopted."

"At least I'm not related to our parents."

"At least I'm not Canadian."

"At least I don't have a Jew-fro."

"It's not a Jew-fro," Kyle snapped throwing the remote at his brother. "It's not anything like an afro anymore."

"I know that," Ike said, happily changing the channel. "I just like taking the piss."

"Don't use that kind of language at home."

"Why not?"

"Our parents will blame me."

"They already blame you for everything I do wrong," Ike began, chuckling slightly. "What's one more?"

"You're probably right," Kyle sighed, sitting beside his little brother. "I just don't like getting yelled at."

"No one does," Ike agreed, laughing. "You know you're far too old for Terrance and Phillip right? They prefer eight year old boys, not boys attempting to go through puberty."

"Shut up," Kyle snapped. "Wait, attempting?"

"Sure your voice has broken," Ike smirked. "But you haven't grown any taller or broader. I think God gave up on you."

"Just fuck off Ike."

"Love you to bro."

***~-~***

"Hey Stan."

"Kyle," Stan smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"Ike kicked me out," Kyle sighed. "I was wondering if I could watch the Terrance and Phillip show with you."

"Dude," Stan laughed. "You still watch that show?"

"Well yeah," Kyle frowned. "Don't you?"

"No," Stan said. "The only person our age who still watches it is Cartman. And you apparently."

"There's no way I'm watching it with fat boy."

"Why not?"

"He's an arrogant, egocentric, maniacal bastard who takes pleasure in torturing others."

"We've known that for years and we still hang out with him," Stan smirked. "What's the real reason? Your mom doesn't want you playing with such a mean boy anymore."

"Yeah," Kyle smiled. "How'd you guess?"

"You're mom's been saying that for years now," Stan shrugged. "Why'd you take her seriously?"

"I don't know," Kyle smiled. "But she said she doesn't want me going anywhere near him anymore."

"Any threats?" Stan asked.

"Grounding," Kyle replied. "A shit load of grounding."

"Will she enforce it?"

"Hell yes," Kyle shouted. "It's _my_ mother we're talking about, not yours."

"Dude that sucks."

"Yeah it does."

"Do you want to hang out here and play Guitar Hero instead?"

"Sure," Kyle laughed. "I'll kick your ass."

"Not on your life."

***~-~***

I hope you enjoyed Chapter 3! :D

Please review!

me-ladie


	4. Chapter Four: Where Should We Be If No

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Chapter 4… :D I'm very excited… This is turning into an epic read… Hopefully it wont get dull. PE class is about to get a little more interesting that's for sure. :D

Sorry about the delays, due to huge family problems including the death of my grandmother everything was put on hold. This story is resuming now and Kyle of 1000 Days will resume January 1st 2009, same goals will apply.

I received a fantastic flame on . Check it out, it's really worth it. Anyone who flames anonymously is always afraid of receiving criticism.

I'm very excited about this chapter, Enjoy.

Me-Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter Four – Where Should We Be If No One Tried?**

It was freezing outside. The school grounds were covered in a thick layer of snow, yet they were expected to run, to push themselves forward. Kyle looked at Cartman and frowned; he was still trailing behind, but didn't seem as puffed. They were on their second lap and Cartman usually gave up by now and walked the rest of the way, and yet he kept going forward.

"Hey fatty," Kyle shouted back at the boy. "See if you can catch me."

"Screw you Jew boy," Cartman shouted back.

Kyle noticed that Cartman was sweating, probably drowning, but he didn't sound puffed. Kyle bit his lip, holding back a smile. All this exercise wasn't just helping him; it was also helping Cartman to lose weight. Kyle pushed himself to run faster, he wouldn't be able to beat Cartman for much longer. Kyle also made a mental note, he couldn't wait to rub it in Cartmans face that he wasn't big boned at all; he was just fat.

***~-~***

"I can't believe I'm doing this willingly," Kyle grumbled as he laced up his shoes. "I cannot believe I'm actually in this room."

"Come on Kyle," Stan chuckled, patting his friend on the back. "It's just a job interview."

"My parents will kill me when they find out," Kyle wined.

"No they won't," Stan smiled. "They'll be a little angry, but you'll get to and from work easily enough _and _tomorrow we're trying out for track."

"I don't know why I have to try out," Kyle sighed, straightening his tie. "I'm not the one who's good at running."

"You were bloody good at soccer the other day."

"That was a fluke," Kyle waved the compliment off. "I freak accident, normally I can't place one foot in front of the other."

"Boys like Lyons and DeLorne wouldn't have asked you to play if they didn't think you were any good."

"It was a choice between me or Cartman," Kyle said, staring at Stan. "Who would you have chosen?"

"Cartman probably," Stan said, earning himself a punch on the shoulder. "I always go for the aggressor."

"Is that why you've been pining away over your sister all these years?"

"Aww man!" Stan shuddered. "Gross!"

"Didn't I see you eyeing up Cartman the other day as well?"

"You're confusing me with yourself," Stan smirked. "Cartman keeps going on about how you keep checking him out in the change room."

"What!" Kyle chocked. "Now that's sick!"

"'He just can't get enough of my tight ass guys,'" Stan quoted. "'It's really creeping me out."

"Cartman's such a fuck head."

"Language Kyle," Stan joked. "The next Mrs. Broflovski won't appreciate that kind of language."

"Ew," Kyle shuddered. "God you've got a twisted mind."

"Not as twisted as yours," Stan laughed. "Now get in there and ask for Ms. Baruttaker."

"Who?"

"Sal," Stan smiled. "Good luck Kyle."

***~-~***

Kyle walked into the room, his breathing was laboured. He couldn't remember a time where he hadn't been this nervous. His palms were so sweaty he had to wipe them on his pants.

Sally Baruttaker was sitting at her desk, fifty years ago she would have been considered pretty, she had an oval face, plump lips and very pretty blue eyes. Now her looks had faded leaving her nothing but the library. She had never been married, though an engagement ring had been placed on her hand at one point. She was a sturdy woman who liked everything to be orderly. As she looked at the young man in front of her, she knew she was going to hire him.

"Good afternoon Mr. Broflovski," She smiled, baring her surprisingly white teeth. "It's so nice of you to finally agree to come and talk with me. I must thank young Mr. Marsh."

"Th-thank you for the op-opportunity Ms. Baruttaker," Kyle stuttered, his face flushing red.

"Come now Kyle," Sally looked at the young man. "You've known me for years, there's no need to be nervous."

"I know," Kyle sighed, taking his hat off. "I tend to think the worst of every situation, I'm paranoid."

"Everyone of us is a little paranoid, would you like to begin?"

"Yes."

"Why do you want to work here?" Sally questioned.

"Do you want the truth?" Kyle asked.

"Of course," Sally answered.

"I need the money," Kyle answered.

"Uh…" Sally trailed off. "That's not the… _usual_ answer we receive."

"It's the truth though," Kyle said. "I need the money, I want to move away from my parents, mostly my mother. I think this would be a good job because I like books, and I like reading."

"Well then," Sally coughed. "I think that covers everything I need to know."

"What?" Kyle asked, slightly stunned. "Stan told me it would take fifteen minutes."

"Well…" Sally hmmned. "Usually it does."

"What," Kyle became desperate. "Can I have a do-over? I promise I'll answer the questions correctly."

"Why? You already have the job."

"I do?"

"You had the job the instant you walked in the room."

"Really?" Kyle beamed.

"Yes," Sally smiled. "Bring in your details at Stan's next shift and I'll do a brief orientation with you."

"Thank you," Kyle said, rising from his seat. "You really don't know how much this means to me."

Sally watched as the young man left the room. She had met the poor boys mother on multiple occasions and didn't particularly like the woman, especially one so found of starting trouble.

"Stan," She heard Kyle's voice through the door. "I go the job!"

"Already? Shit!"

Sally frowned at the language.

"I know! Let's go celebrate!"

Sally strained to hear as the two boys voices faded away. She stood up noticing something green lying beside the door, it was Kyle's hat. She smiled; it was going to be an interesting week.

***~-~***

"Good afternoon sweetie." Eric's mom greeted him as he walked in the door. "How was your day?"

"It was okay," Eric dropped his bag on the floor and flopped on the couch. "Mom, make me some popcorn."

"Yes sweetheart, coming up right away, just let me clean up the mess you've made first."

"But mom," Eric whined. "I'm hungry."

"Okay sweetie, I'll get it right away."

Eric grinned and turned on the television, Terrance and Phillip should start soon. He leaned over and opened his bag. He pulled out a large packet of cheesy poofs and began to wolf them down. He was becoming hungrier and hungrier since he started PE, and he was always tired.

"Mum," Eric shouted. "Where's my popcorn?"

"Coming hun!"

"Mum," Eric continued. "I want my popcorn."

"Here it is snookums."

"Thanks mum," Catman smirked. "Can you bring me a drink?"

"Yes hun."

"And a chocolate bar."

"Of course," Leanne beamed at her boy. "I'll be right back."

"Excellent," Cartman smirked to himself.

Then the doorbell rang.

"Mum," Eric shouted. "Someone's at the door."

"Coming," Leanne smiled, handing her son the chocolate bar.

"Thanks mum," Cartman said as Leanne opened the door.

"Why Eric," Leanne began. "It's your friends."

"Ay!" Cartman snapped. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Kyle got a job," Stan grinned. "We're going out to celebrate, are you in?"

"Hell yeah I'm in!" Cartman shouted. "Let me just finish my dinner."

***~-~***

"So how do you want to celebrate employment?" Stan asked his friend.

"I don't know," Kyle shrugged. "Nothing to extreme, it's a school night after all."

"Let's go to the pub," Kenny smirked.

"I'm not old enough," Kyle smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Kenny."

"Pussy," Cartman coughed.

"Do you know what day it is today?" Kenny prompted.

"Thursday," Kyle asked, puzzled.

"And what happens on Thursdays?" Stan grinned, latching onto Kenny's plan.

"I don't know…" Kyle trailed off.

"'_I don't know_,'" Cartman mimicked, laughing. "Come on Jew boy, what do the year 12 bastards talk about every Thursday in PE?"

"I don't know," Kyle snapped. "Sport?"

"Close enough," Kenny laughed. "Every Thursday the South Park Cows play football."

"They never lose," Stan smiled.

"And how do non-Jews celebrate winning?" Cartman grinned.

"A party?" Kyle sighed, getting bored.

"They go to the pub," Kenny laughed. "What else is there to do in this town?"

"No way guys," Kyle shook his head. "We're no where near old enough."

"No one will notice us amongst the year twelves," Stan pushed.

"I do it all the time," Kenny grinned.

"Come on Kyle," Cartman whined. "Stop being a pussy. Maybe one of the year twelves will help you get the sand out of your mangina."

"Shut up Cartman," Kyle snapped.

"Ignore him Kyle," Stan sighed. "I'll buy you a drink."

"No, I don't want to," Kyle glared at them. "One, I am tiny compared to the year twelves, they're all gigantic. Two, Kenny you do not do it all the time cause you hang around with us, Kevin goes all the time. Finally, Cartman you're fat."

"Hey!" Cartman shouted. "I am not fat! I am big boned."

"Then why are you losing weight fat ass?" Kyle asked, turning the conversation around on Cartman.

"Maybe I'm finally growing into my correct structure."

"That doesn't even make any sense," Kyle laughed. "You're not only a fat ass, you're a dumb ass as well."

"I am not fat!" Cartman screamed.

"Ignore him Cartman," Stan sighed. "He's just trying to get out of going to the pub."

"I don't want to go," Kyle sighed.

"Fine, you can walk home by yourself then," Stan snapped. "God Kyle, I never knew you were such a baby."

Kyle watched as his best friend stormed off down the road. Cartman soon followed, laughing his ass off. Kenny waited, his eyes pleading with Kyle to come. Kyle just turned away; he wasn't going to budge on this. In a few minutes Kenny followed, sprinting after his friends, leaving Kyle alone.

"Fine," Kyle shouted after them.

Kyle sighed, biting his lip. There was no way he could go after his friends without being wrong. Kyle slowly turned around and began the long trek back to his house.

***~-~***

The bar was packed, football fans had filled the place making it hard to breathe and very crowded. Stan, Kenny and Cartman squeezed their way through the crowd towards the bar.

"What do you guys want to drink?" Kenny shouted above the noise. "I'll shout."

"Are you sure Kenny?" Stan shouted back.

"I want a good beer," Cartman yelled. "Not some piss like poor person crap."

"I stole some money from a lady earlier today," Kenny continued. "I'm loaded."

"Then buy us the most alcoholic beer you can think of," Cartman smiled.

"Yes sir," Kenny mock saluted. "You guys try and find some seats."

Cartman and Stan pushed their way through the crowd, the football team seamed to dominate half of the pub. Their fans surrounded them, dosing them with alcohol and singing songs about how manly they were.

"There," Stan shouted, pointing to a half crowded table. "You go first Cartman."

Cartman squeezed himself into the booth, Stan followed behind him. Soon Kenny came over with the drinks.

"Cheers," Kenny said, lifting his glass.

"Cheers."

"Cheers."

The three boys took a swig from their glasses, none of them really prepared for the bitter taste that hit their mouths. Stan shuddered slightly, putting his glass back on the table. Kenny chugged his down.

"Another?" The blonde boy asked his friends.

"Sure," Cartman said, taking another swig of his. "Just let me finish this one."

"Stan?"

"Why not," Stan smiled, sipping his beverage. "Just give me a few minutes."

Kenny nodded and made his way back over to the bar.

"Stan!" A familiar voice shouted. "Stan over here!"

Stan looked up, his Uncle Jimbo was smiling and waving at him.

"Schtan!?" Another familiar voice slurred. "Schtanley?"

It was his dad.

"Wasn't that a victory?" Jimbo stumbled over practically carrying Stans father. "I made one hundred dollars!"

"He's shouting us dinksh!" Randy laughed.

"Would you like anything?"

"No thanks," Stan shook his head. "I have one coming."

"When did you turn twenty one Schtan?" Randy asked.

"A while ago dad," Stan forced out a laugh.

"He's not twenty one yet Randy," Jimbo laughed. "He's sneaking a few, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Sharyn would kill me if she knew you were drinking."

"She doesn't have to find out."

Kenny finally came back with drinks.

"Cheers," He said, raising his glass.

They all drank heavily. Stan knew it was going to be a long night.

***~-~***

Thanks for reading! I definitely need reviews for this chapter! :D

Please!!!!

Me-Ladie


	5. Chapter Five: I Keep My Promises

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Chapter 5! Finally the story is getting somewhere. :D But be warned, this may not be going the way you want it to go. :D Te he he.

I'm curious about where everyone thinks the story is going, because I might end up changing some things depending on what people would like to happen.

Hmmn…

On a more positive note, I'm heading back to my routes with a good ole' Kyle/Christophe story if anyone is interested. It has been posted.

Also, Kyle of A Thousand Days is still on hiatus. I'm taking a gap year from uni so I will begin again. But yes, it will be done!

Finally, I'm looking for other peoples fan fiction to host on my website, if you're interested review or email me or PM me.

Enjoy the chapter.

Me-Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter Five – I Keep My Promises**

Kyle watched his friends walking off and sighed. As he chewed on his bottom lip he slowly turned around and began the long walk back to his house. There was no way he could turn around and run after his friends. That would mean he was wrong, and Kyle was never wrong.

He wondered why his friends were so ignorant of his feelings, maybe he didn't think it was fun to go off and get pissed. Maybe he wanted to enjoy his childhood while he still had it. Kyle sighed, it wasn't fair.

Strange gasping sounds broke the silence as Kyle drew closer to the main street. Kyle pressed onwards, attempting to ignore the sounds that became more recognisable. Someone was crying. Kyle followed the sound, cringing as it became louder and louder. He turned a corner, finding the source of the broken sound.

Someone was hunched over, clutching their bruised body. As Kyle slowly walked forwards, the figure drew back revealing their long blonde hair.

"Ashley?" Kyle questioned the shaking figure.

"Who's there?" The familiar voice replied. "Oh… It's you Kyle…"

Her pretty blue eyes glistened with tears; she had a black bruise on her cheek. Her blonde hair looked ratty and knotted, completely different from her usual silky locks. Finally, Kyle's eyes saw her beautiful little mouth bleeding, her lip obviously split.

"Wh-who did this to you?" Kyle asked, striding over to the poor girl. "Did DeLorne do this to you?"

"N-n-no," Ashley sobbed, drawing away from him. "Toffee would never hurt me."

Kyle didn't believe her, she was covered in blood. He couldn't understand what kind of monster would do this to her, destroy her like this. He slowly stepped closer, not wanting to scare the girl.

"I won't hurt you," Kyle soothed, reaching out to touch her. "I only want to help."

"Well you can't okay," She snapped. "There's nothing you can do."

Kyle bit his lip; soon he could taste his own blood. He took another step towards Ashley, breathed in heavily, and then took another.

"At least let me walk you home."

"No!" She jumped away from him. "I can't go there, I just can't."

Kyle frowned; perhaps there was more to the situation. Kyle slowly inched forward and continued his attempts to reassure the girl.

"Look," Kyle breathed in. "If you don't want to go home, can I at least take you somewhere else?"

"No." She snapped before turning away. "I don't want to trouble you."

"Please Ashley," Kyle reached out and grabbed her arm. "Let me take you somewhere safe."

"There's nowhere safe…"

"How about I'll take you to my friend Wendy's house," Kyle said slowly. "She'll look after you, you'll be able to spend the night and tell your parents that you're staying with a friend."

"N-no I-I can't Kyle," She sounded so tired. "I just can't."

"Ashley," Kyle pleaded. "I'm only trying to help."

"Just don't," The blonde girl whispered before finally turning away.

Kyle watched her beaten figure slowly walk down the street. Kyle wanted so desperately to follow her, to comfort her, but soon she was gone. Out of sight, out of mind his mother always said. Kyle closed his eyes and spat. God he hated that woman.

***~-~***

Cartman rolled out of bed, he felt sick, but he didn't want to miss PE. If all the twelfth graders could do this every week, he could handle one day. And his mother was so proud of him, he was losing weight. No longer was he classified as morbidly obese, he had shed close to twenty pounds.

Cartman had to admit it felt good.

Real good.

A couple of days ago he put on a pair of jeans that he hadn't worn for two years. Soon he would be able to wear shirts with cool things written on them rather than the Mr. Big XXXXL plain coloured shirts.

People had also begun to look at him differently. Even the year twelves would have at him when they passed. The only person who didn't treat him any different was Kyle.

Stupid, perfect Kyle.

God he hated him.

***~-~***

BEEP! BEEP! BEPP!

Stan opened a bleary eye. His alarm clock screamed 6:30 in huge, bright red letters. He needed to be up in half an hour to catch the bus in time for school. He slowly sat up, his head felt like lead and his brain wanted out. They had left the pub at three am that morning, they had been completely hammered.

Stan fell out of bed and collapsed on the floor, literally dragging himself to the bathroom. When he finally got there he climbed towards the toilet bowl. He hoisted himself up and looked down. He could feel it all coming back up.

"Mum," he shouted, trying to hold it back down. "Mum!"

"What?" Sharyn yelled back.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

***~-~***

Kenny awoke with a start, it had been a wild night, and he could hardly remember a thing. He looked up at the bright white ceiling and knew something was wrong. He wasn't in his house.

"Urk," a voice groaned. "What was I doing last night."

"Ugh," another voice groaned. "Sasha, is that you?"

Kenny was in an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar bed with two unfamiliar people. Kenny looked to either side of him. He was nestled between two girls, two identical girls. Jackpot.

"Yeah," the other girl, Sasha, responded. "And who are you?"

"Kenneth," Kenny replied awkwardly. "Don't ask me how I got here, I don't actually know."

"I don't remember either," Sasha groaned. "And I feel really sore. How are you Katie?"

"I'm really sore to."

"Must have been a fun night though," Kenny grinned trying to sit up.

He watched as one of the twins looked him up and down. She then looked at her twin, grinning wickedly.

"I suppose we could create some new memories," One twin whispered.

"There's plenty of time," The other cooed back.

_Jackpot_.

***~-~***

Friday morning PE was always a grim affair, Kyle never knew why until he connected the dots. If the year twelves had been out drinking the night before they probably would have massive hangovers so PE was usually slow, steady and easy on the legs. This morning Cartman seemed to join the mass of groaning boys nursing their sore heads.

"Have a good night fat ass?" Kyle grinned.

"Leave me alone Jew boy," Cartman groaned.

"Aww…" Kyle cooed. "Poor baby has a hangover."

"I said leave me alone," Cartman shouted. "Just cause you were a pussy who wouldn't go out drinking."

"Diddums," Kyle smirked, tracing a false tear down his cheek. "It was my night; you guys were the douches leaving me alone. Unlike you guys, I actually try to be a friend."

"You're not my friend."

"Alright boys," Coach Nichols voice boomed. "Good game last night. When you're ready I want to see you all out on the field."

Kyle watched as Cartman scurried out of the room, his fat jiggling. Kyle was almost alone; DeLorne was sitting across the room, hands in his head. Kyle walked over and sat next to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." The French boy snapped back.

"Are you sure?"

"Peachy."

Kyle sat there in silence, wondering whether to bring last night up or not.

"What do you want?"

"I saw your girlfriend last night," Kyle mumbled. "She was looking pretty beat up."

"'Ow bad?" DeLorne asked.

"Pretty bad," Kyle murmured. "It was horrible."

"Oh God," Christophe sighed again. "And I was too busy getting drunk to be zhere for 'er."

"Did you hit her?" Kyle asked, his voice trembling.

"No!" Christophe snapped, making Kyle jump. "I was just getting drunk as 'er dad probably tried to rape her."

"What?" Kyle gasped. "That's why she didn't want to go home..."

"Don't look so shocked," Christophe frowned. "It's only 'er step dad. I know zat sounded really bad, but I don't know 'ow else I'm supposed to assure you it's not incest."

"It's still rape."

"I know!" Christophe raged. "And I can't protect 'er if she won't let me."

"What do you mean?"

"She won't move out wiz me," Christophe sighed. "I just want to get 'er away from zhere."

"Oh..."

"Look," Christophe frowned. "We need to get out zhere."

"Yeah..."

"Kyle?"

"Yes?" Kyle squeaked.

"Please don't mention any of zis to anyone."

"I won't. I promise you."

***~-~***

Don't worry; there'll be no Kyle/OC in this fic. I'm not a big fan of pairing Original characters with main characters.

Sorry there isn't more to it. Updates are going to be more frequent. I've already started the next chapter. :D

Please read the author notes.

And please review.

I will update soon. Hopefully…

Me_Ladie


	6. Chapter Six: Build Up

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Now I know I said frequently... *Cough* I'm trying okay! Though I have a break for the next few weeks, hopefully I'll be able to write more.

Jay Wedding will be updated shortly. Wedding reception fun!

Kyle of A Thousand Days is still on hiatus. I'm taking a gap year from uni so I will begin again. But yes, it will be done!

If you'd like to check out some of my original pieces and such I have created a new DA account. You can find me under Paint-Project.

Finally, I'm looking for other peoples fan fiction to host on my website, if you're interested review or email me or PM me.

Enjoy the chapter.

Me-Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter Six – Build Up**

Kyle couldn't help but watch Christophe this lesson. With everything that was going on Kyle was amazed how stress free he looked. Kyle wondered how Christophe had the ability to bottle it up, to push it away.

Kyle tended to explode; everything seemed to set him off. His mother, his father, his brother and Cartman all set him off on a regular basis. Especially Cartman. If Cartman so much as said the 'J' word Kyle would go insane. Cartman knew it would set him off and tried at every possible moment to make him scream. Kyle hated Cartman with a passion, and soon the fat bastard would be a skinny bastard and he'd have nothing to use against him.

"Broflovski," The coach shouted. "Start concentrating or you'll be joining you friend over there doing laps."

"Sorry Sir," Kyle replied, kicking himself.

He watched Cartman jog around the large grassy oval, pools of sweat beading around his chest and underarms. It was not a pretty site, but Kyle was so used to seeing boys sweat he thought little to nothing of it anymore. Kyle turned back to the coach who was explaining as quietly as possible today's activity.

"Today we will be split up into partners to practice athletics," Coach Nichols began. "After all the athletic carnival is up soon and it is compulsory for _all of you_ to attend." He looked at Kyle. "I do not want to pair our younger students together; I do not want them wasting another lesson running laps. Any volunteers?"

DeLorne and Lyons stepped forwards.

"Any preference?"

Both shook their heads.

"DeLorne, you're with Broflovski," Coach Nicols began. "Lyons, go grab your partner. The rest of you; pair off."

***~-~***

Christophe had his fair share of scars. As a child who liked to play with fire he had gotten himself into man situations that were dangerously stupid. He even thought that he had died once. He knew that he possibly couldn't have, no one can come back to life after dying, but the thought still itched at the back of his mind.

Like Kyle Broflovski did. The day that he and Eric Cartman walked into the class was like a brick to the head. Both of them seemed so familiar, like people from a dream. He liked the way they fought, it was very amusing. They had obviously known each other a very long time to be able to stir one another like they did. They seemed to hate one another and yet they still hung around together. He just didn't get Kyle.

The little Jewish boy surprised Christophe. He had seen Ashley at her weakest moment, talked to her and hadn't jumped to conclusions. The only other time it had ever happened was with Ashley's best friend who proceeded to kick the shit out of him using her favourite pair of stilettos. She had apologised later when she had found out what was going on, even so the scars she left would never go away. Chrostophe was sick of thinking about it.

He concentrated on Kyle who seemed to be unable to throw anything. He managed to fail at shot put and land a javelin in a ditch. Christophe had never seen someone who wasn't a girl fail so badly. He sighed and grabbed his javelin, throwing it perfectly past Kyle's head.

"How did you do that?" The red head asked, scowling.

"It's easy," Christophe muttered. "Just aim and zrow."

"Like this?"

Christophe watched as once again, Kyle failed to throw the javelin.

"Non, non, non," Christophe sighed, grabbing Kyle around the waist. "Like zis."

***~-~***

"Stupid Jew," Eric muttered as he threw the javelin. "Stupid javelin."

"Concentrate Cartman," Lyons scowled at him.

Eric watched as Kyle threw the Javelin into a ditch. An evil smirk spread across his face.

"I can do better than that," he laughed.

"Then show me," Lyons snapped, throwing his javelin perfectly.

Eric scowled as DeLorne weaved his arms around Kyle's slender waist.

"Fucking Faggots," He whispered to himself as he took aim.

He watch DeLorne whisper something into Kyle's ear, he could have sworn Kyle just blushed.

"Hurry up and show me," Lyons pushed him.

"Fine," Eric said, throwing his javelin.

It glided smoothly and landed properly. Eric looked over at Kyle who was staring back at him, he looked very surly. Eric grinned back at him and waved.

"Nice Cartman," Lyons flashed him a smile. "Now pick it up and do it again.

***~-~***

Kyle felt Christophe's breath against his cheek. He smelt like cigarettes and booze, it made Kyle shudder. He hated the smell of cigarettes.

"Stop being a girl Broflovski," Christophe muttered, moulding Kyle into the correct position. "It's not zat 'ard. If your fat friend can do it, so can you."

"What?" Kyle said, turning.

Cartman stood holding the javelin in the correct position, and with one quick throw it flew through the air and hit the ground on a perfect angle. Kyle glared at the boy, their eyes meeting before he turned away.

"I hate it when he's better than me," Kyle spat.

"Then don't let him be," Christophe shrugged. "Now throw the damn thing."

***~-~***

"Poor widdle Kyle," Eric laughed. "Can't even throw a javelin."

"Shut up Cartman," Kyle seethed.

"Come on guys," Stan groaned. "Can you not do this now?"

"He looked like he enjoyed all the attention DeLorne was giving him," Cartman continued, ignoring Stan.

"What are you talking about?" Kyle glared at Cartman.

"He was rubbing his big manly hands all over your tiny body," Cartman smiled, enjoying the look of horror that began to form across the red heads face. "I saw him run his hands down your arms till they caressed your waist. You enjoyed it so much you went red."

"He was showing me how to correctly throw the javelin," Kyle said pointedly. "And it sounds like you enjoy watching boys touch each other more than I do."

"I do not!"

"I dunno," Kenny hummed. "It does seem like you were enjoying Kyle's display."

"What!" Both the boys said at once.

"You described it in detail," Kenny grinned. "And you looked very happy."

"Happy at his misery!"

"And you have a boner."

"I do not!" Cartman shouted feeling for his crotch.

"Made you look."

"Screw you Kenny!" Cartman shouted. "I'm going home."

"Good riddance," Kyle muttered.

"Yeah," Kenny nodded. "Couldn't have him going on about your new boyfriend all afternoon."

"Fuck off Kenny," Kyle scowled.

"Chill Kyle," Kenny smiled. "I'm only joking."

"I know," Kyle sighed. "I just-"

"Hate him?" Stan said.

"We know," Kenny finished.

"Come on Kyle," Stan threw an arm around his friends shoulder. "Let's just go get something to eat and chill."

***~-~***

"_Help!" A voice cried._

_Cartman spun around quickly, trying to find where the voice was coming from._

"_Please someone," The voice shouted again. "Help me!"_

"_I'm coming," Cartman shouted, running towards the voice. "Keep shouting."_

"_Please," The voice sobbed. "He's hurting me!"_

"_I'm almost there," Cartman continued, the voice was getting louder and louder. "I'll be there soon."_

"_Ah!" The voice cried out, then silence._

_Cartman rounded a corner, and then stopped, unable to believe what he saw._

"_Cartman..." A small voice moaned. "Please..."_

_Kyle Broflovski was naked, beaten and bleeding. DeLorne hovered over him, holding a large silver knife which glistened under the street lights. Cartman watched in horror as the large Frenchman sliced deeply into Kyle skin, blood began to pour out._

"_Don't worry Kyle," Cartman ran towards the red head. "I'll save you."_

_Cartman raised his arm and punched DeLorne as hard as possible. The large Frenchman staggered slightly, and then he charged towards Cartman, he eyes filled with fire. Cartman dodged the Frenchman, grabbing his shirt and throwing him into a wall. He then turned to Kyle._

"_Eric?" Kyle croaked. "Help me.... Please..."_

_Eric knelt down and picked up the bleeding mess before him. He never realised that Kyle was so light. He began to carry the fragile boy out of the alley and towards a hospital._

"_Eric my hero..." Kyle murmured, snuggling into his neck. "I love you..."_

"_I love you to," Eric kissed the boy. "Kyle."_

"What?" Eric screamed, bolting upright.

He looked around; there was no DeLorne and definitely no bleeding Kyles around. He was in his bedroom, wrapped in clean blankets. He was shaking so much the bed was vibrating, he felt sick. Eric thought back to his dream, all he could think about was Kyle and what he had said.

"Oh crap."

***~-~***

Liked it? Hated it? Do do do do. We're getting somewhere slowly. :D Epic fics are fun!

Please review!

Much love,

Me-ladie


	7. Chapter Seven: Release

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Update! Woo! I'm sorry about how short the chapters have been. They should be getting longer soon.

Kyle of A Thousand Days is still on hiatus. I'm taking a gap year from uni so I will begin again. But yes, it will be done!

If you'd like to check out some of my original pieces and such I have created a new DA account. You can find me under Paint-Project.

If you're interested in something different from me check out My newest one shot Blind Date over in the red eye section. 30 people have read it only one review. Come on people! Same here all of you who have added this fic to author alert and haven't reviewed!

Finally, I'm looking for other peoples fan fiction to host on my website, if you're interested review or email me or PM me.

Enjoy the chapter.

Me-Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter Seven – Release**

Kyle really enjoyed working at the library, it was always quiet and you almost never got shouted at or humiliated. Kyle remembered hearing Stan's stories from his first job, a day didn't go by where his best friend wasn't shouted at or had something thrown at him. Kyle was so happy libraries weren't stressful places at all.

"Kyle," Sal began, tying her hair behind her head. "I need you to sort and re-locate the returns."

"Okay," Kyle smiled at her. "Will do."

Kyle did have to admit that working at the library wasn't the most thrilling job in the world. Once or twice customers attempted to buy a book or a DVD, but mostly it was quite and a little bit boring.

But this day wasn't going to be like that. Kyle could hear sobbing coming from the back left corner of the non-fiction section, followed by whispering and hushes. He slowly followed the sounds, unsurprised by who he found.

"Ashley please," A familiar French accent begged. "Come 'ome wiz me."

"I can't," Ashley sobbed. "What about my mother?"

"Who cares about your goddamned mozer?" Christophe spat. "She's ze bitch zat 'as let zis 'appen."

"Um guys," Kyle interrupted. "I'm sorry but I have to ask you to quiet down."

"Shut up you filthy jew," Christophe snarled at him. "Zis is none of your business!"

"Please," Ashley whispered. "Leave him alone."

"If you 'adn't stuck your fucking Jew nose into zis she wouldn't be so miserable," Christophe ignored Ashley. "Zis is all your fault!"

"My fault?" Kyle snapped back. "I'm just trying to help. You're a fucking moron." He turned and faced the crying girl. "Ashley come home with me."

"What?" The girl gasped. "No!"

"You can tell your parents I'm tutoring you again," Kyle began, biting him bottom lip. "It's not a permanent solution, but it means you can spend less time at home."

Suddenly Ashley rose to her feet.

"Thank you Kyle," Ashley smiled. "But I don't need your help." Christophe smirked. "Or yours. I'm going now. Kyle you get back to work and Tophe, you apologise for being a fucking ass."

"I'm sorry," Christophe growled.

"And mean it!" She yelled back at them.

Christophe growled at her before leaning back and sobbing a little. Kyle had no idea what to do. So he just stood there like an idiot till the Frenchman stood up.

"I'm sorry about what I said Kyle," He began, wiping a single tear that had rolled down his cheek. "I just can't get zrough to 'er. She needs to get out of zere."

"I know," Kyle sighed, awkwardly patting Christophe on the back. "You'll figure something out."

"Zanks Kyle," Christophe forced a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

***~-~***

"Get your Jew-fro out of my eyes," Eric growled as Kyle blocked his view.

"What's the matter fat boy," Kyle sneered blocking the ball and throwing it to another tem member. "Still can't keep up with the crowd."

"Not when all I can see is red," Eric snarled. "Now get out of my way!"

He side stepped Kyle before grabbing the ball out of thin air, turning and shooting. Then the whistle blew.

"Fantastic Cartman," Coach Nichols boomed. "It's nice to see you finally get involved."

Cartman beamed at him, he couldn't believe he actually caught the ball.

"Nice work fat ass," Kyle grinned at him. "But next time you won't get past me."

"Bring it on," Cartman smiled back.

The whistle blew, and they were off.

***~-~***

The not-so-overweight boy scowled, it just wasn't fair. It wasn't that Eric was a bad student; he just had a short attention span. It wasn't his fault that the teachers didn't provide enough material to stimulate him. It wasn't his fault that he needed to take out his frustration on Kyle. It just wasn't fair.

Eric just couldn't stop looking at him, he was so beautiful. His bright green eyes, which pierced your soul. His soft red curls that framed his perfect round face. And his freckles, Eric wanted to sit and count each and every one of the freckles which crowned the boys face.

Of course Kyle didn't look at him, all his attention was directed towards the crabby old teacher at the front of the room. Kyle never got distracted in class. Not unless you poked him, or threw something at him, or pulled the chair out from under him. Kyle never got into trouble though, Eric always did.

Now all Eric could do was look at him and prey he wouldn't do something stupid. Like reach out and touch Kyle's hair. Instead he opted to throw a pencil at him.

"Ouch," Kyle yelped, turning around and glaring at Eric. "That bloody hurt fat ass."

"I'm sorry Kyle," Cartman replied sweetly. "Did I do something to annoy you?"

"No shit Sherlock," Kyle hissed.

"Mr. Cartman," Miss Penny interjected loudly. "I believe you should read your poem for us."

"Poem?" Cartman squeaked. "What poem?"

"The one we're writing to pass the unit," Kyle smirked.

"We have to write a poem?" Eric blinked.

"This is Poetry Mr. Cartman," Miss Penny frowned. "I expect to hear something from you before the end of the lesson."

"Ten minutes fatso," Kyle laughed before continuing with his work.

Eric scowled. It just wasn't fair. Kyle didn't have to read his poem aloud to the class. No, Kyle just had to sit there, looking pretty. Eric picked up his pen and began to write.

***~-~***

"_There are things in this world we're not supposed to want,_

_So we just pretend they're not worth it._

_But what if you had the chance to take what you want,  
Whatever would you do with it?_

_If it was a person who loved you,_

_And you could never love them back._

_What if you took them by the hand?_

_Would you give them a decent chance?_

_What if all the things you had ever hoped for came true?_

_What would you do?_"

Eric breathed deeply, every students eyes were on him. He couldn't remember ever writing a poem before. He didn't think it was good, but it couldn't be so terrible.

"Thank you Eric," Miss Penny smiled sweetly. "Now, what can you do to improve this poem?"

"Improve?" Eric glared. "What do you mean?"

"The poem is just a rough draft, like a story," The teacher began. "So we edit it until we're happy with it. Are you happy with yours Mr. Cartman?"

"I-" Cartman paused. "No..."

"Then go over it next period," Miss Penny smiled. "And re-write it until it's perfect. It's a very good first effort."

The bell rang.

"I expect everyone else's drafts to be on my desk by the end of the day."

"Cartman?" Kyle began. "That wasn't half bad."

"Thanks Jew," Eric said, smiling.

He had never felt so happy in his life.

***~-~***

Please review! Next Chapter should be up in a few weeks. *cough*

Find me under paint-project on deviant art.

Much love,

Me-ladie


	8. Chapter Eight: One Two Three

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Update! Woot! And at last a chapter more than 3 pages long. But it was a very long time between updates. Sorry about that. The next one will definately be sooner.

So real life drama's including me going away and breaking my ankle have gotten in the way. But I do promise Chapter 9 by the 30th of April. :D It's halfway done so I just have to get off my bum and write it.

Kyle of A Thousand Days is still on hiatus. I'm taking a gap year from uni so I will begin again. But yes, it will be done!

If you'd like to check out some of my original pieces and such I have created a new DA account. You can find me under Paint-Project.

Finally, I'm looking for other peoples fan fiction to host on my website, if you're interested review or email me or PM me.

Enjoy the chapter.

Me-Ladie

***~-~***

**Chapter Eight – One Two Three**

For the first time in his life Eric cried himself to sleep. He hated Kyle, hate him. Hated every breath the red headed Jew had ever breathed. Eric hated every single freckle that splashed across Kyle's nose. He hated every word that spilt from Kyle's pretty, self righteous mouth. Eric hated the way Kyle bit his lip every time he was frustrated. And he especially hated the way that a blush would slowly grace Kyle's cheeks every time he made a snide remark.

Eric Cartman _hated_ Kyle Broflovski.

***~-~***

Kyle shivered slightly, and then sneezed. He wanted to go back to normal. He wanted to be eight again. The scariest thing when he was eight years old was Trent Boyett, his preschool bully. But now everything seemed scary, and nothing seemed right.

When he was younger everything was black and white. Cartman was a bully. Slavery was bad. Chef was black. Jimbo was white. But as he grew older the world began to melt and shades of grey started to appear.

He wished he could be eight years old again.

***~-~***

"Alright you boys," Coach Nichols boomed. "This week we're going to have a break."

"Thank God!" Eric muttered.

"Shut it you ass," Kyle hissed.

"Make me," Eric glared.

"Broflovski," Coach Nichols shouted. "Cartman. Don't push me."

"Sorry sir," Kyle said. "Won't happen again."

"Suck up," Eric smirked.

"As I was saying," Coach spoke over the top of the boys. "This week we're going to have a break. This we're going to have fun."

He paused, letting the excited murmurs wash over him. How he loved to play with his students.

"Today we will be joining the female Physical education class."

"The girls?" One boy whispered excitedly.

"Girls?" Another said stunned.

"I don't even remember what a girl looks like," Lyons joked.

"That's cause you've never had one," DeLorne muttered back.

"As we do every year," Coach Nichols continued, a smirk playing on his lips. "We'll be joining up to do a week of dance."

Groans erupted from the boys.

"What's so wrong with dance?" Kyle asked.

"Because it's faggy Kyle," Eric smirked. "Only fags like dance."

"Now come on boys," Coach Nichols silenced the boys. "It's an essential part of the curriculum."

"Bullshit!" Someone shouted.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Coach Nichols glared before continuing. "Besides, don't you want to be able to waltz at the next wedding you go to? Impress the young women with your dance moves?"

"I'd rather not," someone else moaned.

"Well to bad," Coach Nichols continued. "Now we need to lay out some ground rules. No groping, pinching or harassing the girls in any way."

"Aww…"

"I'm being serious guys," Coach Nichols sighed. "If last year's dance class repeats itself again I will withdraw you from all major sporting events."

"Yes," Cartman grinned.

"Except for you and Broflovski, Cartman," Coach Nichols grinned. "If either of you step out of line, you'll be forced to participate in all sporting events."

"Fuck," Cartman groaned. "That's not fair."

"Oh it is," The Coach smirked. "Now inside the hall boys, the sooner we start the sooner it'll be over."

***~-~***

"And girls remember," Coach Carroll smiled at her girls. "They do anything inappropriate you tell myself or Coach Nichols immediately. "

"Yes Coach," the girls chorused back at her.

"Yes Coach," Eric mimicked from the other side of the hall.

"Cartman," Coach Nichols growled. "This is your first and only warning."

"But I didn't do anything."

"Shut it Cartman," Kyle hissed. "I don't want to play competitive sports."

"You were fine with it the other week."

"What?"

"When you were playing soccer with the year twelve's during lunch."

"That was a friendly game," Kyle rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you remember that."

"Quiet boys," Coach Nichols shouted. "Okay stand in a circle in the middle of the hall. And don't make me make you join hands."

***~-~***

Eric decided that he hated dance. It was just repeating the same thing over and over and over again. He just couldn't understand the appeal.

"One two three," Coach Carroll shouted. "One two three. One two three. And pass the girl on."

Cartman scowled as the next boob-less, muscle bound girl was pushed into his arms. He wondered if he would last the week.

***~-~***

Kyle couldn't believe it; he was having the time of his life. The patterns, the grace. And if the partner was right the feeling of being weightless.

"One two three," Coach Carroll gently sung. One two three. One two three. And pass the girl on."

And then he said goodbye to his partner and twirled her into the arms of the next man. Then he received the next young lady. This I could get used to, he thought letting the music wash over him.

***~-~***

"So what have you guys been doing in PE this week?" Stan asked his friends over lunch.

"Dancing," Kyle smiled. "It's been brilliant."

"It's been horrible you mean," Eric shoved Kyle to the side. "It's repetitive, boring, and slow. And all the girls are hideous."

"Quite a few of them are pretty Cartman," Kyle scowled.

"None of them have any breasts!"

"Only you would think that's important."

Kenny snicked.

"You and Kenny," Kyle muttered, before turning to eat his lunch.

"Well I trust Kenny's expertise over yours any day," Eric said, biting into his hamburger. "At least he's gotten laid before."

"And you have?" Kyle glared. "Please enlighten us."

"Well I haven't gone all the way yet," Eric spluttered as he ate. "But quite a few women have professed their attraction to me."

"Name one."

"Uh," Eric began, scratching his head. "Shelly White."

"Shelley White died in a car crash last year."

"Yeah," Eric continued. "Just before that she told me how attractive I have become."

"Well we can't confirm that because she's dead," Kyle scowled. "Anyone who's alive."

"I'm sure at least one person out there finds Cartman attractive Kyle," Stan interrupted. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Fine," Kyle grumbled. "So what are you guys doing after school today?"

***~-~***

The rest of the week went in a blur for Kyle and then came double dance on Thursday.

"Well now," Coach Nichols began, his forehead creased in thought. "It looks like we are two girls short today."

"Tammy broke her leg yesterday," Coach Carroll begun. "She fell down a flight of stairs. And Lisa didn't turn up today, probably sick."

"Well then," Coach Nichols smirked. "One of the boys will have to dance as a girl. Broflovski!"

"What," Kyle shrieked over Cartman's laughter. "Why me?"

"Because you're a girl," Eric howled. "You're a girl."

"That's enough Cartman," Coach Nichols scowled. "Broflovski, you weigh the least in the class, you'll be easier to lift and move. "

"This isn't fair," Kyle grumbled.

"Life isn't fair Broflovski," Coach Nichols smirked. "Go stand in front of Lyons."

"Why do adults always say that?" Kyle mumbled assuming his position in the line."

"Let's begin."

***~-~***

Eric Cartman was so very bored; they were waltzing for the fourth time this week. He was over dancing and he was definitely over the waltz. And then Kyle danced into his arms.

And his world melted.

It was just Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski and the music. It gently washed over them as they danced together.

"What's wrong fatass?" Kyle snapped him out of his day dream.

"Nothing," Eric scowled. "Just day dreaming."

"Then stop it," Kyle continued. "You almost dropped me."

"It's not my fault you weigh less than a girl," Eric glared. "I can't even tell if I'm holding anything."

"Screw you Cartman!"

And then he was gone, twirling into the arms of the next man. Eric died a little inside.

***~-~***

Kyle decided that he didn't mind being the girl; in fact he was rather enjoying himself. After he danced away from Cartman the lesson got much more enjoyable. None of the other boys cared that he was a boy, if they did spoke to him it was just general chatting.

"Hello."

"How are you?"

"Fine, thank you?"

"That's good to hear."

And then they passed him onto the next man and it began again. Until he danced into DeLorne's arms.

***~-~***

The world stopped spinning.

There was music and light.

Just the two of them.

At a standstill.

Eyes locked.

Beautiful.

Intense.

Alone.

***~-~***

The Bell rang loud and clear. Everyone dropped hands and walked off to their respective change rooms.

"Broflovski," Coach Nichols boomed over the happy voices. "Thanks for being such a good sport. For that I'll let you out of one event tomorrow."

"Javelin," Kyle sad without thinking.

"Good man," Coach Nochols winked. "Can't have you brining down your house tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Kyle asked. "No dance tomorrow?"

"The athletics carnival is tomorrow," Coach Nichols beemed. "There's no more dance till next semester. Your safe for another six months. Now hurry over to the change room, you don't want to be late for your next class do you?"

"No sir," he mumbled, slowly making his way over to the change room.

"Hey watch it," a familiar accented voice growled.

Kyle looked up and met the gaze of Christophe DeLorne. Neither of them able to let go.

"Come on DeLorne," Lyons clapped the Frenchman's shoulder. "We have some ass to kick."

Then he was gone and Kyle was left alone wondering what the hell had happened in that last dance class.

***~-~***

Did You like it? I hope so… I am heading into my usual territory.

Hate it? Don't worry. Cartman is going to be Cartman. ;) And he always gets what he wants! :D

Please review!

Chapter 9 is well underway and will be submitted by the 30th of April by the latest.

Then Off to Europe.

Cheers,

Me-Ladie


	9. Chapter Nine: Carnival

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Update! Woot! And Like I said. 30th of April at the LATEST. It's not as long as I'd like it to be. But a promise is a promise.

Unfortunately I can't say that about the next chapter. My partner and I are going to Europe for four weeks and then I am back at work… So yes… Not sure what's happening.

And please guys, review. I know there are people reading when I keep getting favourites but if you don't review I lose enthusiasm.

If you're interested in reading more of my work, check out Conversions of an Interesting Nature. It's Kyle/Christophe, but it's possibly the best thing I've ever written. So reviews would be nice.

Kyle of A Thousand Days is still on hiatus. I'm taking a gap year from uni so I will begin again. But yes, it will be done!

If you'd like to check out some of my original pieces and such I have created a new DA account. You can find me under Paint-Project.

Finally, I'm looking for other peoples fan fiction to host on my website, if you're interested review or email me or PM me.

Enjoy the chapter.

Me-Ladie

**Chapter 9 – Carnival**

"Let's go blues, let's go," One side screamed.

"Come on yellows!" Another side

"Go the green machine!" Screamed a girl

"Frenchie! Do it for Red!" A guy yelled.

"You know we really need better names for house teams," Kenny grinned dressed in his house green for once. "Colours are so boring."

"Yeah," Stan agreed. "The days just started and I'm already sick of wearing yellow."

"Well at least you're not in red," Kyle growled. "I'm a walking eyesore."

"Soon to be running," Cartman laughed, his old blue shirt swamping him.

"You need a new shirt," Kyle pointed out. "That one is at least eight sizes too large."

"Just cause I've lost weight-"

"It's a shame they didn't put us all in the same house," Stan sighed, interrupting his friends. "I wouldn't feel like such a traitor."

"It's not like you participate in anything anyway Stan," Kyle continued. "All you do is turn up and drink eighteen cans of coke."

"I participate in novelty events," Stan defended himself.

"Losing an egg and spoon race once is not participating Stan," Kyle muttered.

"What about you then," Stan glared. "You've never gotten off your ass."

"This year is different," Kyle sighed. "I'm competing in Shot put, 50m sprint, 100m sprint, 200m sprint and the cross country event."

"And javelin," Cartman smirked.

"No," Kyle shook his head. "Got out of it."

"What!" Cartman scowled. "How?"

"For dancing as a girl yesterday."

"That's bull crap."

"That's life."

Stan supposed they thought he hadn't noticed. His best friend might have been the smartest person he knew but sometimes he was a very self-centered person. Stan laughed as he watched the exchange between his friends, it was so very obvious.

Eric Cartman was in love with Kyle Broflovski.

A crueler man would have taken advantage of the fact, and a few months ago Stan wouldn't have left Cartman alive. But he could see how much good the not-so-large boys infatuation was doing for him. Cartman was becoming a better person because of Kyle.

If only Kyle would get his head out of his ass, Stan thought smiling. Then maybe he'd become a better person to.

"Our running events will begin shortly," A loud voice blared over the speaker. "Any last minute entries please proceed to the sign up tent now."

"Come on Stan," Kyle nudged his friend. "You should enter."

"No thanks Kyle," Stan rolled his eyes. "I'm not up for it."

"Aw," Kyle mocked. "But you promised."

"When?"

"You said you would try out for track if I had that job interview with Sal," Kyle began, running a hand through his Red Curls. "But track meet has come and gone, but there's No Stan Marsh on the team."

"Look," Stan replied, scowling. "I was doing you a favor. Now you have a job and your mum is happy with it."

"It's not fair," Kyle scowled back. "I held up my end and you didn't."

"Stop beating that horse," Stan laughed. "It's been dead for a while."

"If you don't run I'll quit," Kyle said finally.

"Don't believe him," Cartman laughed. "He's too much of a pussy to do it."

"I am not!" Kyle snapped. "I will quit and when Sal asks why I'll tell her you molested me."

"We're best friends," Stan snorted. "She wouldn't believe that."

"Unless I had bruising that proved it," Kyle smirked, pulling up his shirt. "Sal doesn't know I play sport, and if you told her that she'll assume you're lying. I hate sport. Now be a good boy and sign up."

"Fine," Stan grumbled. "Stupid Kyle."

"And what even would you like to sign up for dear?" The elderly volunteer asked.

"All the running events," Stan muttered, thinking about it he probably gave in to easily.

"Are you sure dear," The elderly lady continued. "Only people who do PE tend to enter in the events."

"Just do it," Stan snapped.

"She is right you know," A French accent curled around him. "If you enter you will probably lose."

"Well I'm entering because my friend is blackmailing me," Stan scowled. "I don't have a choice. And I'm not that bad a runner."

"We practice every day," The Frenchman continued. "Your friend knows zis, and he still wants you to run?"

"Yes," Stan sighed. "Don't ask me why, but he does."

"Participants line up for the 50 meter sprint," A voice announced.

"Well zen," the Frenchman smirked. "Prepare to die."

"Good luck man," Kyle smiled at him from his position in the line. "I know you can do this."

"I'm not talking to you," Stan snapped back.

His hands were shaking. He knew he was going to fail, and he would fail spectacularly. He wondered why Kyle even had faith in him.

"On your marks," The voice croaked. "Get set."

BANG

The gun fired and they were off. Stan looked straight ahead and sprinted as fast as he could and then Bam, it was over.

"Holy shit Stan," Kyle panted as he limped over to his friend. "You won."

"No I didn't," Stan shook his head. "I can't have, I barely broke a sweat."

"See," Kyle panted. "I was right. I told you from the beginning that you should run."

"Yeah," Cartman panted next to them. "He likes to watch men run, that's how he knew who would win."

"Who came second?" Stan asked.

"DeLorne," Kyle shrugged.

"He looks pissed."

"He tends to win."

"Not at me Kyle," Stan shook his head. "At you."

Christophe DeLorne was furious. He hated losing, hated it. It wasn't that he was a bad loser, in fact at the end of the day he would shake Stan Marsh's hand and congratulate him on winning all the sprints.

No he was furious because Kyle Broflovski had blackmailed Stan Marsh into racing. He didn't trust the red head, even though Ashley did.

He ignored the moment at dance.

Hope you liked this chapter.

Christophe's section is well… Christophey I hope!

Again, please review! I really do like any kind of feedback,

I'll see you soon,

Me-Ladie


	10. Chapter Ten: The Reality of Dreaming

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** When Kyle and Cartman are forced to take year 12 PE together, they're also forced to grow up together. Relationships will form with the least likely of people and perhaps the two enemies can settle their differences. Right? Slash. Rated for language.

**Author Notes: **Yes, this fic is not dead. IT IS ALIVE! *thunderbolt*

It will be finished, just be patient. :p It will probably take a lifetime. But yes,,, Also, not impressed with taking away all my spacers. Makes everything real hard to read...

And please guys, review. I know there are people reading when I keep getting favourites but if you don't review I lose enthusiasm.

Also, coming your way, a new fic in another fandom. *Watch This Space*

Kyle of A Thousand Days is still on hiatus. I'm taking a gap year from uni so I will begin again. But yes, it will be done!

If you'd like to check out some of my original pieces and such I have created a new DA account. You can find me under Paint-Project.

Finally, I'm looking for other peoples fan fiction to host on my website, if you're interested review or email me or PM me.

Enjoy the chapter.

Me-Ladie

**Chapter 9 – The Reality of Dreaming**

Eric Cartman had visions of red tumbling over fields of green, soft laughter and light kisses. Secrets were shared and tears were shed, everything turned out blissfully.

In his dreams, Eric was an Adonis, not an ounce of fat on him, just pure muscle and a handsome face.

In his dreams, Kyle looked at him with respect and admiration. Kyle would fall in love with him, every kiss another promise of perfect happiness.

In the morning he would awaken a happy, sticky mess. Then the reality of his life would sink in. He would be left with nothing but whispers of a dream.

,,,

"Christophe I don't understand!" Ashley groaned.

"What!" Christophe snapped, turning around and glaring at her."What don't you understand?"

"Why are you so angry?" Ashley asked. For what seemed like forever Christophe was ranting and raving about anything and everything. And she was sick of it.

"It es nozing." He fobbed her off, then turned around and continued to pace.

"You're scaring me Tophe," Ashley said gently.

Christophe stopped pacing and sat down next to Ashley. He held the fragile girl to him and sighed.

"You shouldn't trust 'im Ashley," He began, mumbling slighty.

"Shouldn't trust who?" Ashley raised her head and looked at him.

"Kyle Broflovski!" Christophe growled.

"Are you still going on about him?" Ashley rolled her eyes.

"'E es a conniving son of a bitch."

"Geez Tophe, just because his friend beat you-"

"It is not just because 'is friend beat me!" He scowled.

"Then what is it?" Ashley pressed.

"There's something about 'im…" He trailed off and looked down at his feet.

"He's Jewish?" Ashley mocked.

"No, not zat," Christophe scowled, not appreciating the joke. "Something off putting."

"I think you're just jealous," Ashley grinned, poking him.

"Of what!" Christophe stood up and began to pace again.

"Another guy showing interest in me," Ashley provoked.

"Ashley you know zat es crazy," he stopped and looked at her.

"Then prove it," Ashley smirked. "Be nice to the poor guy."

"I'm always nice," Christophe scowled.

"Maybe I'll even ask him out on a date…" Ashley said coolly.

"Over my dead body," Christophe growled.

"We'll see," Ashley laughed, smiling at her ex. "We'll see…"

,,,

Kyle Broflovski dreamed of being as far away from South Park as possible. He wanted to see the world and escape the shackles of normality.

In his dreams he drank Guinness in Ireland and red wine in France. He climbed the Eiffel Tower and explored the ruins of Pompeii. He danced the flamenco and seduced foreigners.

And when reality set back in he awoke in his small, single bed. His mother's shrill voice screaming at him to get out of bed, and get back to his mundane life.

But even when he was studying, Kyle would hold onto his dreams. He knew that one day soon he would escape from South Park and never return.

,,,

Ike awoke to his mothers screaming for the fourth time in the last 24 hours. He tried to block it out, rolling onto his side and covering his head with his pillow. But nothing worked.

He slid out of bed and padded over to the door of his room. He gently opened the door, trying not to be too noisy. He didn't want to direct his mother's anger at himself.

"Gerald I don't understand him," Sheila wailed. "We've done everything for him; he's never wanted for anything. And this is how he repays me?"

"He hasn't made any decisions yet honey," Gerald said calmly. "He has two more years till he has to even make a decision."

"No, he only has one," Sheila snapped. "Especially if he wants to study on the other side of the world."

"It's not that bad hun," Gerald soothed. "Think of the fantastic vacations we could have."

"He's my baby Gerald," Sheila sobbed. "My own flesh and blood."

"I know Sheila," Gerald sighed. "But you'll still have Ike."

"Ike…" Shiela trailed off. "Our special little boy… What if he follows in Kyle's steps?"

"Let's hope they study in different countries then."

"Gerald!"

"I love you Sheila."

"I love you to."

Ike could hear smooching sounds and he knew it was time to get back to bed. As he slid beneath the covers, thoughts rolled around in his head.

,,,

Kenneth Cormack dreamed of sex, drugs and rock and roll. He could die a thousand deaths and still come back for more.

In his dreams he seduced woman with a blink of an eye and a flick of his tongue. They'd be a quivering mess beneath him, moaning and begging for more.

He would achieve the greatest highs and never experience the fall from grace. He was a star. Rich, powerful and famous.

In reality he woke upon his pile of blankets to the smell of burnt toast and his brother's alcoholic rages. His parents tried so hard to set their children right. His father worked three jobs and his mother worked two. They saved to send their boys to college, and now that money was spent on bail.

Kenny knew his time was almost up. And even if he wasn't a rock star, he would damn well try to be.

,,,

Kyle Broflovski loved to lie on the grass and read; he loved the smells the outdoors could provoke and the calming atmosphere that soothed him as he read. What he didn't like was a dark figure standing over him, blocking the sunlight, and distracting him.

"What do you want Cartman?" He scowled rolling over.

"Just to sit in the sun and relax," Eric smiled, sitting down beside the red head.

"Can't you just scoot over a few feet?" Kyle asked, placing a bookmark in his book. "A way from me."

"It's a free oval Kyle," Eric grinned, lying down. "I promise not to annoy you."

"Fine," Kyle rolled his eyes. "Just don't talk to me."

Eric watched Kyle as he opened his book and began to read. He loved the way the Jewish boy bit his bottom lip as he concentrated on the written word. Eric looked up at the sky and grinned, it was almost as if they were on a date.

"What are you reading?" Eric questioned softly.

"What did I just say?" Kyle muttered angrily.

"I'm sorry," Eric frowned. "Just curious is all."

"Jasper Fforde, Well of Lost Plots," Kyle said, reaching a hand into his bag. "Here's the first one if you want to read it."

Eric felt the book get shoved into his hands, their fingers brushed and he tingled.

"Thanks you," Eric whispered.

"Fine," Kyle scowled. "Now shut up and let me read."

Eric opened the book and pretended to read, smiling at the read head. And then the moment was ruined. Destroyed by a mop of dirty brown hair.

"Broflovski," Christophe growled.

"What now," Kyle groaned, snapping his book shut. "What's up Tophe?"

"Don't call me that!" Christophe snapped.

"Whoa!" Kyle sat up. "What's with the attitude?"

"I don't like you," Christophe began.

"You did the other day in dance class," Kyle smirked.

"You stay away from me and Ashley."

"Is this because Stan beat you?" Kyle frowned. "I'm sorry you didn't win but-"

"This isn't about that," Christophe barked. "This is about you being a dick."

"Hey!" Eric joined in. "Only I call him that."

"Getting your boyfriend to stand up for you now?"

"What is wrong with you?" Kyle shouted, standing up to try and meet the taller boys gaze. "You've been so nice to me, what did I do wrong?"

"You're a pervert," Christophe growled. "Stop acting like one." The French boy then turned and began to walk away. "And if Ashley asks, tell her I was being nice to you."

Kyle collapsed on the grass and began to cry. He wasn't sure why the words of the Frenchman hurt him so, but they chipped away at his heart. All he could feel were Eric Cartman's arms around him, and a gentle voice whisper in his ear not to worry. Even so, Kyle died a little inside.

,,,

Stan Marsh dreamed of nothing, an endless white void of hopelessness. There was one image always in the background, someone calling out to him. He would run towards it and it would become harder to reach.

Eventually Stan gave up chasing dreams and focused on reality instead. He didn't want to turn out like his father, proud of his own shits and the ability to make Margarita's. Stan wanted to become his own man.

In his reality he held a letter from his school, begging him to join the track team. Stanly smiled, if nothing else at least it would be an interesting experience.

''''

Mean Christophe? Me write one? You betcha. Hmmn… An interesting love oblong going on here. :p

Hope you liked this chapter. Another will be posted before the 12 of February. That's when I go to the Gold Coast for three weeks.

Again, please review! I really do like any kind of feedback.

I'll see you soon,

Me-Ladie


End file.
